New Hampshire Chronicle Lied to Me About this Cat Being a Dog

The owners of "Mr. Cooper" claim he "acts like a dog" and WMUR decided to do a story on it in Littleton, NH. After watching the video I feel hoodwinked and betrayed.

I'm not a hard man to please when it comes to anything involving cats on the internet. Just show me a cat, maybe have it do something and I'll be satisfied.

WMUR's New Hampshire Chronicle claimed to have a video of a cat who "thinks he's a dog" in a recent episode. Watch it here and you will surely agree with my opinion on this cat-based chicanery.

The owners of "Mr. Cooper" claim the cat thinks it is a dog because it walks on a leash and is a bit friendlier than other cats. They compare him to "Lassie" because he found one of his fellow cats in a brush pile. So he uses a leash, isn't as mean as other cats and found another cat once. That's it.

Listen. When you claim to have a video of a cat that thinks it is a dog there had better be a cat acting like a goddamn dog. I want to see a supposed cat-dog hybrid do one of the following:

• Bark like a f$#&ing dog
• Do tricks, like rolling over and playing dead, for treats like a slave
• Wag its tail like a moron when its owner comes home
• Chew on a bone like it is covered in cocaine
• Play a seemingly endless game of fetch with a tennis ball
• Love its owner like its the only thing that matters

Mr. Cooper does NONE of these things listed above. He is just an outgoing cat who kind of likes the people in town. He is about as close to being a dog as I am, although I will do tricks for treats.

The older couple in the video seem really nice and they are fellow cat-lovers like I am. They own a ton of cats, even though the wife is allergic, and I salute her for being so dedicated to her husband's love of felines. Mr. Cooper does seem like a super-chill cat that I would love to spend the afternoon with.

However, you cannot tell me you have an amazing dog-like cat and show me this. This is the age of the internet where I have witnessed both wonders and horrors at the click of a mouse. My expectations are high and I do not settle for anything below "amazing" when it comes to cat-related videos on the web.

I am not mad at you New Hampshire Chronicle, just disappointed that you brought my expectations so high and then delivered a video that shot them down.

I felt kind of bad for host Sean McDonald as he shakes Mr. Cooper's hand and proceeds to cover the story with the same importance as the state's budget crisis. He knows how bogus the story is, but he continues to handle the rest of the video like a seasoned professional.

Yet my good feelings came to an end when he says this gem at the end of the video: "He's spread happiness in Littleton, one purrson at a time." Thank you Mr. McDonald for sneaking in that pun and adding insult to injury.

Not everyone is as critical as me when it comes to New Hampshire Chronicle's coverage of the famous Mr. Cooper. In fact, the first comment posted on the video's page comes from Barbara who writes "Wow Mr. Cooper is one cool cat."

Yes he is Barbara, but he is not a dog

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