An Overdue Open Letter to Steven Tyler About That One Time at JCPenney in Massachusetts Years Ago
Dear Steven Tyler,
I need to start off by apologizing.
Unfortunately, I do not remember the year or my exact age, but however, when I was about 7 years old, I made multiple mistakes in under an hour.
I need to apologize to you for my actions when I was younger. I was out shopping with my mother at a JCPenney in Hanover, MA, when I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
I was hiding from my mother (yes, I know not the smartest idea) and thought that it was a good idea to hide in the girls' bathing suits circular rack.
Well, this was my first mistake.
My second mistake was jumping out from the clothes rack and (not looking) while jumping out. I walked right into you.
I remember seeing American flag pants and I just looked up and said "sorry."
That was my third mistake. As a child, I should have asked for a picture with you.
I know that you were probably busy shopping for yourself or your family, and it was probably best that a child did not stop to ask for a photo or autograph from you.
However, I need to be honest.
Though I should have known that it was you (especially by the pants that you were wearing), I did not right off the bat.
My mother saw the whole interaction and was horrified about what had occurred. She then asked me if I knew the name of the person who I jumped out into. I told her "no."
Well thanks to my love of you and Aerosmith at a young age, when she told me "that was the guy that sings 'I Love Trash' and 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing', I knew exactly who you were.
I am glad that I was raised correctly and that I apologized for bumping into you. However, I am upset that I was not raised to remember your face that young or know that you actually lived in Marshfield.
I wanted to take this time to tell you that I am truly sorry that I jumped out at you as well as let you know that you made a little girl very happy that day (even though I could not find you after our run-in to ask for your picture).