Five Lesser Known Ways to Avoid a Shark Attack

There are well documented ways to avoid a shark attack, like not swimming at dawn or dusk or swimming near fishermen. Paddling on a surfboard puts you at greater risk as does wearing something shiny. Did you know there are less publicized ways to avoid shark attacks too?

DO NOT DRESS LIKE SEAL

Sharks like to eat seal.

NEVER CHUM THE WATER YOU'RE SWIMMING IN

We all like to swim in mashed tuna and blood, but your safety suggests you should resist the temptation.

FACEBOOK BULLYING A SHARK IS WRONG

Only Mr. T is allowed to bully a shark on or offline. I would discourage friending sharks as they typically only post about politics.

RIDING A FISH WITH A DORSAL FIN IS DISCOURAGED

While somewhat more accommodating, dolphins do not appreciate this either.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MATE WITH A SHARK

No matter how tasteful their lipstick appears, do not even go in for a kiss.

If you follow all these tips, you should be safe in New England waters. As always, abstinence is your safest bet so avoid the water when at the beach or in the shower. Stay safe this summer!