Remember When a Man Disguised as a Tree Robbed a New Hampshire Bank?
I call New Hampshire “Florida Jr.” Because if you take ten weird news stories, nine will be about Florida, but New Hampshire always seems to sneak in there.
But, what would you expect from a state where a strip mall doubles as a Charlie Sheen Fantasy Camp (on the same road where a nuclear power plant is surrounded by fireworks stores)?
My favorite New Hampshire criminal of all time, though, is a man who went in to rob a bank in Manchester. I’m not condoning the robbing of banks (even though sometimes, it feels like they’re robbing us – amiright??), but this man gets points for appearance.
For one summer’s day back in 2007, a man went in to rob a bank in Manchester…dressed as a tree.
I choose not to use the man’s name, as time has passed and I hope he turned over a new leaf. But there are several reasons he is my favorite New Hampshire criminal:
He dressed up as a tree. I mean, come on. That’s just awesome. Imagine the effort that went into this. Anyone can buy a ski mask, but to become one with crime and nature is impressive. I only wish he’d added some lights and a star and come back in December.
Nobody got hurt. He is the D.B. Cooper of New England. A fun crime which lends itself to lore without any tragedy. Perfect.
He took a full day to be captured. Brilliant! What better disguise for New Hampshire? I bet the police were perusing the woods all afternoon, hoping one of the pines would speak up.
He surrendered immediately. No fight. No hassle. Just like Son of Sam...
Sorry, moose that tried to make a withdrawal. You're no match for New Hampshire’s Man of Bark.