Watch: Noah Kahan Says He Should Never Be Allowed on the Boston Red Sox Pitcher’s Mound Again

Let me first say that I probably couldn't do better than my guy Noah here. I'm just writing about what we all watched (and probably giggled at). That doesn't mean we were giggling AT him, we were just giggling WITH him, which is honestly the beauty of the entertainment industry. I actually love the fact that Noah Kahan, an extremely talented artist, showed the world you simply can't have it all, and that's okay.

Watch his first pitch in Boston at Fenway Park for the Red Sox, where he says, "I should never be allowed on the pitcher's mound again...I wish I could do it all over."

I just wish that they had him sing something on the mound instead. My biggest question is this: did nobody know this was coming when they asked him to do this in front of hundreds of people? Does anybody screen the people they ask to throw out first pitches? I mean, that was actually such a whiff. I just don't understand how nobody knew this was coming who might be able to save face here, even though I think it was the most adorable thing to ever happen to baseball.

I guess not everybody can be Maine's one and only sexiest man alive like Patrick Dempsey, and throw out a great first pitch like this at the Sea Dogs last year:

Or as perfect as Rob Gronkowski's "pitch" (or first "spike", as I like to call it):