Why doesn't anything cool like this happen at my Walmart?

A deer wandered into a Walmart in Minnesota and started running around the store. Thankfully no one was injured because an MMA wanna-be tackled Bambi, putting her into a rear naked chokehold with his legs wrapped around her.

And don't worry about the deer. She's fine. They took her outside and she ran off. Probably to the Walgreens.