It’s that time of year, where we go from chuckling about our kids’ hijinks to demanding a three-day waiting period before they can purchase soap, eggs, or toilet paper. That’s right, it's Halloween, and trick-or-treating is right around the corner.

Now the panic sets in. What treats do I purchase? What sweets do I buy? There’s no time for that. In 2022, you’re better off studying TikTok so you know which influencer they’re dressed as.

Luckily, the folks at Candystore.com have compiled a list of the top Halloween candy in every one of our 50 United States, including New England! While I wasn't shocked by the continued disrespect of candy corn, there were some surprises...

Connecticut: Almond Joy

Now this is no surprise, coming from the state where people wear a sweater over their shoulders while they shower. Of course they pick the granola bar disguised as candy – the treat dentists hand out so you’ll actually ask for floss or a toothbrush. We get it, Connecticut, you’re “better” than us (but never forget that “Who’s the Boss” put you on the map).

Rhode Island: Twix

This one is a bit surprising, given that Rhode Island is the smallest state in the Union. Though I don’t spend much time there, I assume that people in Rhode Island must live in very tiny houses so everyone can fit within state lines. Thus, I was surprised that their candy of choice comes two per package. Brave.

Massachusetts: Sour Patch Kids

Now here we go. This makes sense. It’s often said “you are what you eat,” and as someone born in Massachusetts, I can say with great authority this makes all the sense in the world (and to all my fellow New Hampshirites who shame Massholes for their dirty chants at Celtics games, two things: 1) That was almost you and 2) THE KIDS ARE THE ONES STARTING THE CHANTS!).

New Hampshire: M&Ms

Classic New Hampshire. Sorry if I sound disappointed, but it’s so predictable. We could’ve gone with Skittles, but nope…the same old, tired classic. “But M&Ms are a bunch of different colors!” THEY ALL TASTE THE SAME, FOLKS! Except the pink Easter ones. They’re special.

Vermont: M&Ms

Ohhh, well, well, well. Not so progressive after all, are we Ben & Jerry?

Maine: Sour Patch Kids

But not for the same reasons as Massachusetts. Kids in Maine use their Sour Patch Kids to create a trail that leads evil clowns back to the sewer from which they came. Don’t believe me? Just ask Stephen King, or his good friend, Richard Bachman.

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