Let's Just Accept the Fact That 'The Guest List' Yacht Will Never Leave Hampton Beach

Let's all just face facts and admit to ourselves that the yacht that has been stranded on Hampton Beach the past few years will never be removed.

Photo: Rich Beauchesne/Seacoastonline

I've had to accept a lot of hard truths the past few weeks. Donald Trump is a presidential candidate, Jared is a pedophile and every single dentist has killed a lion at least once in their lifetime. Now I have to live on with the fact that the infamous "Guest List" will never ever leave Hampton Beach.

The yacht has been stranded on the beach since January 2014 and Port officials are STILL working on removing the darn thing. The owner, Luis Elias, doesn't care about his giant hunk of litter, the local government continues to fumble about and nobody wants to step up and get rid of the stupid thing.

We will be waiting for centuries for anything to happen if our state's political history is any indicator. It takes years of debate just to figure out what our state worm will be, or what color tie all the politicians will wear at their annual drugs and hookers gathering.

The owner of the yacht considers moving the yacht a low priority. Maybe the next time he goes to a restaurant I can sit on top of his table and let him know what removing myself from his dining space is not a "high priority." Consideration for others is dead folks and it died right here in New Hampshire.

So the Guest List is here to stay. Hey, at least teenagers love it because it is some sort of forbidden party destination. What better place to drink and lose your virginity than a smelly old yacht where addicts have most likely smoked meth? See there is a use for everything!

With that in mind, let's take a look at what we can do with the Guest List now that is is here to stay forever:

Turn it into an exclusive nightclub for teenagers where they can drink overpriced booze and feel like they will someday be rich enough to own a yacht and leave it on the f---ing beach.
Use it as an anger management tool for voters every time a presidential candidate comes into town. Hand out baseball bats for $5 a swing and charge $7 for a sledgehammer to smash the frustration out.
Transform it into a giant toilet so beachgoers can show the owner of the yacht how they REALLY feel about his negligence.
Rent it out to perverts who want to fulfill their sick Gilligan's Island fetish.
Burn it and use those hot flames to roast marshmallows for hungry local children.
Shove it into the ocean and just let it sink, much like our expectations that anybody can do anything about this stupid yacht.
Repair it and sail around the world with a giant sign that says "The Guy Who Used to Own This Yacht is an Inconsiderate A$*hole."

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Let’s Just Accept the Fact That ‘The Guest List’ Yacht Will Never Leave Hampton Beach

Turn it into an exclusive nightclub for teenagers where they can drink overpriced booze and feel like they will someday be rich enough to own a yacht and leave it on the f---ing beach.

Use it as an anger management tool for voters every time a presidential candidate comes into town. Hand out baseball bats for $5 a swing and charge $7 for a sledgehammer to smash the frustration out.

Transform it into a giant toilet so beachgoers can show the owner of the yacht how they REALLY feel about his negligence.

Rent it out to perverts who want to fulfill their sick Gilligan's Island fetish.

Burn it and use those hot flames to roast marshmallows for hungry local children.

Shove it into the ocean and just let it sink, much like our expectations that anybody can do anything about this stupid yacht.

Repair it and sail around the world with a giant sign that says "The Guy Who Used to Own This Yacht is an Inconsiderate A$*hole."