“Your baby is perfect! All 10 fingers and all 10 toes!”

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Now, why the heck does that signify the health and wealth of a newborn?

I may not be perfect but I am pretty close and I only have 9 toes so I can attest to your 10-toed baby not being any better than this nine-fingered freak.

Anyway, that’s not the point of this but did I get your attention?

Let me introduce you to Little Foot:

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This little dime piece quite literally gets me through the day, from point A to point B. She does it with little to no complaints and does her best to keep up. The lack of toe isn’t even the tough part, it’s the fact that this thing is a whopping size 4.

This brings me to my search for a solemate.

For as long as I can remember, well, for my whole entire life, I have had to buy two different-sized shoes. I need a size 8 for my left foot and a size 5 for my right foot.

As you can imagine, it is not easy and it is not cheap. It is also far from being sustainable.

Take these L.L. Bean slippers for example:

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The little guy would fly right out of the size 8 if I only bought one pair, so I have to buy a mini version and now there are two perfectly great slippers that will be wasted.

In an ideal world, I would be able to just buy one pair with two different sizes but unfortunately, that is just not how it works. Yet. (I am optimistic this will change in the near future as more people like me became more vocal about this issue.) But for now, we suffer.

Screw finding a date, I need a SOLEMATE.

Do you have a similar issue? Maybe you know someone with one leg that has a size 8 foot, or maybe a size 5? I need the universe to cross my paths with someone I can share shoes with. We can lessen the financial burden of buying two different pairs of shoes, and we can reduce the negative environmental impact of waisting unused pairs.

Help me find my solemate and I’ll kick off the relationship with a brand-spankin' new pair of L.L. Bean slippers! On the house!

Maybe you don’t know anyone with freaky feet, that’s okay, but please share this article anyway to increase my chances of finding my soulmate solemate. I know they’re out there!

Alright, I’m going to go now. Thanks for sticking around. Here are more photos of my weird feet playing sports for no reason other than the fact that she LoOoOves attention:

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